Are Men and woMen really that different?

July 23, 2010 by  
Filed under Mary's Moment - Love and Lipstick


Are Men and Women really that different?

Well let’s start with what makes them different….other than the obvious physical differences.

Men generally have one thought at a time and will focus on a single task, while women have many thoughts processing at once and are skilled in multi-tasking. So that is often how mis-communication occurs in relationships, because women don’t understand why their man can’t follow the conversation that is really about what happened two days ago and three weeks ago…

Men like to be in their cave and what I mean by that is they are happy to be alone without the need to be around a lot of other people especially other males. Let’s call it the Alpha male instinct. Whereas women more instinctively want to commune with other women.

I went to see the new Sex and the City movie this week. It is excellent btw so If you haven’t seen it ladies you will want to plan a girls night out around it. One of my favourite parts of the movie was when Samantha, Carrie,Miranda and Charlotte were being chased by a group of angry men in Abudabi and a group of Arabic women adorned in their traditional cloaks, signaled for them to follow them to protection. Up until that point the girls had identified only the stark differences between themselves and the women. But alone with them, they realized that they loved NewYork, and under the cloaks they were wearing the latest fashion, they were researching Modern Medicine and reading the same book about Menopause that Samantha was.

What they realized was that even though culturally they were very different, at the core they were the same. I would suggest that the same holds true for men and woman.

Yes we know there are differences but if we look at what constitutes the energy of men and the energy of women we see that we are very much the same.

Let me explain..

The masculine energy is an energy that is destructive, it is strength and fire. Whereas ,feminine energy represents creation, nurturing and love. They are the perfect balance for each other.

For those of you that have been listening over the past weeks I have talked about the universal law of balance. That law states that there is absolute balance in everything, every one in every experience.

That law also applies here.

We have in all of us both masculine and feminine energy.

In the traditional male role masculine energy was predominant.

The characteristics of the masculine energy have shaped expectations of the Male in society to be the provider, the protector, the leader and the strength in a family. While the feminine energy was predominant in the traditional female and again expectations were born that the women would be the nurturers, the caretakers, the communicators, really the glue that binds the family together.

As society has evolved and as we have begun to embrace both genders within ourselves so too have the roles within families evolved. And now the males can be both the protector and the nurturer. The female can be both the provider and the caretaker.
And that doesn’t mean that the female is emasculate or that the male is more effeminate it is a natural expression of who we truly are. And it certainly doesn’t mean that women don’t want to be protected and men don’t want to be nurtured.

This embracing of the two sides of our energy is our natural way of being. As with the wearing of cloaks society has dictated on the Arabic women, our society has historically dictated that men suppress their feminine energy and and woman their masculine energy.

So your takeaway this week is recognize that while men and women and different, we are also the same. We need to honor those differences and to embrace our sameness.

Have a great Week!!


Fantasies – A powerful manifestation tool

July 23, 2010 by  
Filed under Mary's Moment - Love and Lipstick


Fantasizing is essential to both your relationship with your significant other and critical in every other area of your life.

Let’s start with your relationship. Fantasies should play a big role in the life you share with your
partner. When you think of fantasies you more than likely automatically think of that we are talking about sex but that is not the case.

In a relationship fantasizing about the house you want to build or the trips you want to take or the relationship you both want to build with each other are all part of creating the reality you want. This may be better known as visualizing. You have probably heard of or may even have a vision board or what some people call a dream board.

This is where you cut out pictures of the car you want or the trip you would like to take or just about anything that you would like to attract into your life.

You could just as easily call them fantasy boards because that is what they are meant to cause you to do.

When you fantasize or visualize you are putting yourself into a state in which you consciously have the thing that is the object of your fantasy. You are experiencing the house, the car, the man or woman. It gives you the opportunity to put yourself into a scene that does not yet exist…and I say does not yet exist because that picture or movie that plays in your mind when you fantasize is precisely how everything man made in this world originated.

As a thought, or picture in someone’s mind. They say you can never own an original painting because the original only exists in the mind of the painter.

We think in pictures. Let me demonstrate. I am going to ask you to play along with me for a second… Close your eyes and think of your car. Oh yeah, if you are currently driving your car, let’s keep our eyes open for this one please now think of your house…your fridge. Now, as I asked you to think of each of these items a picture formed in your brain didn’t it.

When I mentioned your car a picture of your car popped up in your mind and as soon as I mentioned house that picture disappeared and the picture of your house appeared, then the fridge. We literally think in pictures. Here is why visualizing or fantasizing is important.

It will cause us to feel as though we are in possession of our fantasy and when that happens, we are in a vibration that is in harmony with that which we are fantasizing and the law of attraction takes over.

It is important to share your fantasies with your partner and make them part of the fantasy especially when they are of a sexual nature otherwise you risk distancing them. If you are both fantasizing in harmony this can be a very powerful bonding exercise that can have amazing results both in your relationship and in the life you build for yourselves together.

So your take away this week is to be purposeful when you fantasize, share this with your partner and then sit back and watch the magic happen.

Have a wonderful day! Happy dreaming!!!

Dating – What to do to manifest the perfect partner

July 6, 2010 by  
Filed under Mary's Moment - Love and Lipstick


I would like to appeal to all of you out there who find yourselves captivating a room with your tales of dating horror!!!

You know who you are :-0

In fact I have spoken to a lot of you! Keep reading cuz this week we I am going to let you in on the secret to what you can do to avoid adding to that library of stories that leave people staring at you in bewilderment, saying thank god I’m not single!!!!

I realize that it’s very easy to think that it is bad luck, or that there are no more good ones out there, that they are all taken… If that is the way you have been thinking, I would like you to do a quick mental check for me…. How does thinking this make you feel? PAUSE… It’s a very helpless feeling isn’t? Well…the fact of the matter is, you are actually in complete control!

OK here it is….EVERYTHING…That’s right, EVERYTHING is a manifestation of our thoughts. We create what we think about. Which also includes our dates

What are your thoughts around dating?…what expectations do you have when you go out on that date?

Are you thinking about all of the bad dates you have had lately, calling up memories and reliving each and every one of them in your mind? Are you thinking that you’ve cornered the market on duds?

Well, guess what folks? What you fear will appear. If you are expecting bad things to happen on your dates don’t be surprise when that shows up. If you are thinking that all guys are jerks, they will beat a steady path to your door!

What happens for most people is that they will look at their results, in this case, “all of my dates have been nightmares”, they allow that reality to take control and their thoughts become, “I always seem to date losers”, which puts them into an “I always date losers” state of vibration.

So the universe can only do one thing by law, and we are talking about the laws of attraction and vibration here…It will serve them up a steady buffet of losers.

“OK Mary, so how do I get off the lame train?” LOL

It’s very simple really… Change your thoughts. We have been gifted with the incredible ability to create pictures in our imagination. This is one of the most powerful tools we have to work with the Law of attraction!

Build a picture of what you want! What do YOU want in a partner? Include every detail. The more detail you give your picture the more powerful the intention and vibration you create.

What type of personality are you attracted to? How would you like to be treated? What music do they like, are they funny? What do they look like? Do they love the outdoors? Are they passionate? Do they like to dance?… Leave nothing out.

What you want to do next is see this perfect partner in your mind as though they already exist. See yourself with that person engaged in everyday activities and play that movie over and over in your mind. You can even visualize every aspect of the perfect date with your perfect partner!

What you are doing when you create these images is you are fooling your subconscious mind into believing that this is reality. When this happens you move your body into a state of vibration that is in harmony with all that you are visualizing. The Universe will take care of the rest.

One of the shortcuts that people will take is to identify someone that they know and are attracted to and they begin to picture themselves with that person. They run through their minds what it would be like to be with them, to spend their lives with them. Well if they focus long enough and hard enough they will more than likely attract that person to themselves and then BAM! They realize that the person they chose is not at all like the person they imagined. They have a laundry list of habits and character traits that they hadn’t bargained for. I recommend that you avoid the temptation to pick your mate from a lineup unless you know that person intimately and know what you are getting beforehand.

There is no better conductor in this orchestra than the Universe. If you take your time and choose what you want, rest assured that the universe will find the perfect match and lead them to you. Your job is to be aware when they make their appearance. It may very well end up being that person you know, but resist the urge and let the Universe make that call.

So your take away is to look for what you want, not what you don’t want. Build yourself your perfect partner and make them the leading man or lady in your mental motion picture and then get out your dancing shoes!

Have a great week!!