The BBQ

First of all my weekend started with a new tattoo on Friday evening (will post pictures when its healed).  As I said I do enjoy good body art!

I was invited to a mutual friends house by my neighbours on Saturday afternoon.  The couple’s whose house we went to have a pool in the backyard so the kids could swim and we could socialize and have a BBQ.  There was another woman there whom I have never met before and we hit it off very well.  We have the same sense of humor except shes is a bit harder than I for lack of a better word.

The afternoon was going along nicely, good friends, good drinks, fun for the kids and I was hoping good food.  The conversation went along smoothly and like adults it had some spice to it.  Well I was unaware that the man hosting was a bit of a prude and homophobic.  I jokingly said at one point that I didn’t realize that was the case.  He covered his face and in a laughing manner agreed with me.

Everything was fantastic, or so we all thought until our host from out of no where stood up and dumped the entire glass patio table on top of myself, my neighbour and the other woman.  Drinks flew on the three of us and all over my cell phone (not happy about that as now my phone turns on and off on its own) and cut my neighbours finger.  He called us ignorant and stormed into the house!  We all sat there in shock as this was the worst case of someone snapping with out any sign that I have ever seen.  I packed the kids up and we left (without food ).  I was told that he came out again a short time later and threw a patio chair and not a plastic one but the big heavy ones at the others left and hit the other woman in the back with it.

I was afraid for our hosts wife and wonder if we as friends could provoke such a display of anger imagine how living with him would be!  The crazy thing is I have seen this man over the years be way more vulgar than anything we ladies were saying at the moment he lost it.  I also know that his wife enables him to act this way by letting him reflect his behaviour on the situation at hand and the other people involved.

I worry about the wife…I know she has low self esteem to begin with and he belittles her all the time.  I know that when a person (female or male) are told they are worthless after a while they really do believe it.  I think about all the things I have learned over the last 8 months about having confidence and the knowledge that nobody is unworthy.  I wish I could take her to an Ignite Potentials course but alas he would never let her go as he controls the money and her time.  It makes me sad…the last thing I heard him say to her was that she should leave with us because he has all the money and more brains and she would have nothing.  She believes this because he tells her that. 

I will continue to be her friend and support her but I will never go to her house again with my kids or without as I have no desire to be around a person like her husband.  I sat down after to find the good in the afternoon and I was able to realize that even though she chooses to live like this I will support her.  I hope he realizes that he needs some help sooner rather than later.

Have a great week…and watch out for flying tables with drinks on it.  End result is cold and sticky!

Kristine

I am brilliant, savvy and powerful and I inspire total confidence!

Getting the Passion Back

This week on Mary`s Moment I talked about how to keep the passion alive in a healthy relationship or how to get the spark back if it is missing through the understanding and application of the universal law of attraction. If you understand how to use the law of attraction, like any law, the results will be predictable. The law is simply that what you focus on you will attract into your life. Our mind is one of the most powerful tools known to man, but we don’t know how to use it to our advantage and understanding how it works has everything to do with keeping passion in your relationship.

There are two parts of your mind - the conscious part which is limited and where you do all of your thinking and you have the ability to choose your thoughts. The other part of your mind is the subconscious part which has such a vast quantity of information that if it were to allow all of it to flow through to your conscious mind it would be so overwhelming that you would not be able to focus on anything…[I]as I am writing this I am wondering if that is what happens in the minds of people with ADHD[/I]… So to protect you it will only allow information through to your conscious mind that is in harmony with what you are focusing on and then filters out everything else.

In a different context, have you ever made the decision to buy a new car? Did you notice that you immediately started to see that vehicle everywhere you looked? Do you think it is by chance that there are more of these cars on the road all of a sudden? Of course not, they were always there but your subconscious filtered them out of your awareness because it wasn’t something that you were intentionally focusing on. Similarly in your relationships, the things in your partner that you focus on will seem to appear more and more often. In actuality they are no more prevalent than they were before, it is that your subconscious mind is filtering out most everything that does not line up with what you are focusing on, so if you weren`t focusing on the things before you wouldn`t have seen them.
So lets look at this a little closer as it relates to our relationships and specifically passion in our relationships. If you are focused on all of the crap, the fact that he didn’t take out the garbage, leaves the toilet seat up, doesn’t put the cap on the toothpaste, or change dirty diapers, or whatever other negative trait he or she has,then the last thing you are going to want to be is intimate with that person.

When you first started dating you were focused on what attracted you to them and what you loved about them and because that was your focus, that is pretty much all that your subconscious brought into your awareness, so that is all that you saw and of course you wanted to be intimate with them!

The one thing you can begin to do today to bring passion back into your relationship is to start focusing on what you love about your partner and every time you think about what you don’t love, change your thought and focus on what you do love. What you think determines how you feel and how you feel determines what you do. A passionate relationship is simply a by product of your thoughts. So choose your thoughts to support what you want to achieve in your relationship.

In closing I would leave you with a quote from Apostle Peter. He said “be of one mind having compassion one for another”, and what is compassion after all if not passions tender face.

Hope you have a passionate week!!
MaryC

Interview with Sue McGarvie host of Love & Livestick

Love and Lipstick - Mary’s Moment

This is an exciting day as I debuted on 99.7 with Sue McGarvie’s Love and Lipstick!! If you were not able to dial in I will be posting my transcript and would love to hear from you!! MaryC

The Octopus

I had an interesting date on the weekend with a man who seemed very nice and normal when we were speaking online.  We did speak for quite sometime via email and instant messaging.  We, after having many conversations put our agenda’s together and found a time where we could meet up for a drink.  Now even tho over the last few years I have been told time and time again not to have any expectations when meeting someone new…I’m not sure how people do that.  I don’t have unrealistic expectations but I think everyone goes in with the hope of at the least having a fun time at least I do.

We decided to meet up downtown and go to a club where bands go to play live.  As a prelude to my date I must tell you that I pulled a muscle or something in my neck the day before doing a kickboxing class and I’m sure my 5km run that morning didn’t help me out.  As the day went on my neck got more sore but I didn’t want to cancel my plans.  Nothing some ibuprofen won’t solve for a little bit of time.  I got ready to go and drove myself to our meeting place.  I am so glad I invested in my GPS I am terrible with directions and am not familiar with the downtown core at all!

I met my date where we said we were going to and was pleased that he did infact look like the picture he posted.  I was not however wearing shoes that were made for walking any great distances which apparently he had in mind that night.  I think we met the farthest point from our final destination as humanly possible on the market.  At one point I stopped and asked how much longer we were planning on walking and did point out my shoes were really for looking good and not hiking.  He was amused by this, we had a little laugh, he said I should go for comfort and not fashion…obviously he was delirious!

We finally got to our destination and there was a cover charge to enter.  I did not expect him to pay for everything that night nor did I give that illusion.  I reached for my wallet to pay my 8 bucks and he said it was ok he would pay for me to get in…”but you have to buy the beer”.  Wait a second, I think I’m being scammed.  In my head I thought ok I will buy a beer but after that I think we should go dutch.  I’m not one for drinking much at a bar - gets very expensive after a while and I was driving.  He on the other hand I had no clue…I knew he didn’t have his car with him so I assumed he would bus or cab it.  Doing the math I thought this night could cost me more than I was willing to spend and I was almost right!

I did buy us a beer each…we were having a very nice conversation until his hand started to wander first onto my knee, up my leg where I promptly stopped it from further probing.  I had told him about my sore neck earlier just in case he was wondering why I could only turn my head one way.  This guy didn’t miss a beat, he stood up behind me and started rubbing my neck and OMFG it hurt like hell.  I asked him to stop as it was hurting me I guess this was invitation for his hands to leave my shoulders and wind up trying to massage my butt and boobs.  Help, I’m out with an octopus!!!!  I swear he had a metamorphosis in the dark bar from man with two arms to sea creature.  I did make it thru the first two bands and then said to him that I was not feeling well and had to leave.  He had the balls to say to me that he got the impression I would be more affectionate and that next time we went out and my neck was better that he hoped I would be more accommodating.  I was at a loss for words!  I told him that I had to leave and to please stay and enjoy the rest of  his night.

He followed me out of the bar and I guess you could say walked me to my car.  I think he was hoping that I would drive him home seeing as he didn’t have a car with him.  I was a little scared going into an underground parking lot with him but didn’t really have a choice at that point.  In the safety of my car I put my window down and told him that I was not expecting to get felt up on our first date and really I probably would not have minded it as much if I actually had some kind of chemistry with him.  I told him that I didn’t think that there was any between us and would not be wanting a second date.  He seemed a bit taken aback by this and it must be because I am frigid.  Hey at this point I agreed with him as I was in no position to argue.  I drove away with relief and disappointment that I will never get that 2 hours of my life back!

When I got home there was an email from him, he knew that we should see each other again and was planning something for us to do as soon as we could.  I emailed him back that hell would have to freeze over and our date would be an invitation to the skating party.  I then blocked him from my email and instant messenger lists.

I’m not saying I’m the perfect date, far far from it.  I’m sure some men have run away after a date with me feeling it was a waste of time for them as well.  I do have to admit tho I have never groped anyone without their consent and participation!  Thank you universe I made it through other test…I have to go and update my list of what I’m looking for in a mate ( my manwich list is what I call it).  Have a great week and please be careful of oceanic creatures who live among us

Kristine

I am brilliant, savvy and powerful and I inspire total confidence!

Great long weekend

I hope you all had a fantastic long weekend…the weather was amazing. 

I had a great weekend with my kids, we did some gardening and just hanging around.  My son went out to Kemptville for a sleepover with a friend of his so we girls did some shopping and had a nice time just having fun.  I was at the garden centre and a very nice (and good looking I might add) man helped me load some bags of dirt into my car.  Why is it when you don’t quite look your best a really handsome man offers to help you LOL?  I must admit I flirted a bit, it was fun but alas no phone number exchange happened

On Monday night my son finally arrived back home at 8ish, he had a great time with his buddy and was tired.  I had to drive him to his dad’s house as the kids week started with him Monday evening.  The girls had been picked up a few hours before.  When I got to my ex’s house his new girlfriend was washing her car in the driveway.  It was kind of funny because she looked like a deer caught in the headlights…not sure whether to bolt up to the house or just stand there and hope for the best.  She chose to stand there looking very uncomfortable and trying to not make eye contact with me.  I’m not sure why she feels this way, I’ve never actually met the woman before so I assume its just because she has been told all the ”bad” things about me.  This doesn’t bother me as I can’t control what people say about me and it makes my ex look better if I’m the evil one.  So I looked straight at her and said “hey, how are you doing?”  It was a pretty priceless moment as she had no clue how to respond and my ex being the man that he is just hid up on the porch leaving the poor girl standing there floundering.

I don’t think I’m that scary, in fact quite the opposite well most of the time.  I did like the fact tho that she did feel the need to be very uncomfortable.  I do however admit when I drove away I was unclear of the feelings I had.  It was a mixture of wanting to laugh out loud at her facial expression, some anger that after not seeing his kids for a whole week that he was outside with his girlfriend and my girls were no where to be seen, and relief that he is someone else’s problem now.  I got home and the old me would have probably headed straight for the fridge to eat away the emotions I was feeling.  Instead I decided to call a friend of mine and we went for a 6km run and boy it was muggy but very rewarding.  We did the run in 38 mins and it felt great to run off my emotions rather than eating them!!  A victory for me woohoo!

So I start my new week feeling strong, worthy and full of hope that I can achieve all I set my mind to.  I look forward to the next challenge the universe has for me because I think I handled this one with grace, dignity and accomplishment.

Kristine
I am brilliant, savvy and powerful and I inspire total confidence!

kristine@IgnitePotentials.com

A funny thing happened to me

So a little while ago I got a call from a guy I had a few dates with previously…interesting fellow to say the least.  He asked me to go out to watch a hockey game (when the senators were still in the never ending playoffs) and then watching a fight at another sports bar.  Now girls I know your all saying WOW  that’s an evening a girl could never pass up!!!  I find this man very funny to be around so I thought ok I will go.  I had a commitment before hand that I had to attend so I told him that I would drive myself and meet him at the first place, I also knew from past experience with this man that he would have had a few drinks by the time I showed up and would probably be not in the best driving condition. 

When I arrived at the bar there was only about 30 mins or less left in the hockey game, my date ,and I use that term loosely,  had brought along his neighbour (which is fine I know him as well and he is a nice guy going thru a rough time) and asked if we could all go together in my car.  There were a few other girls there that these two men knew from all the time spent in bars I guess.  When the game was over we, being me, they guy and his friend got into my car and I drove us to the next location to watch the fight.  Now I must admit the fight was very interesting having never actually seen one before and there are many many men at the bar on fight night!!!  My date was very attentive at first as we had not seen each other in a few months and remained that way until one of the women from the previous bar showed up.  My date then to my surprise and amusment started sharing his time between myself and this other woman.  I should mention that I was not drinking anything stronger than diet coke at the time and my date, his friend and the other woman were all feeling no pain. 

The evening went on and I could see that my date was interested in this woman and she was showing him the interest he was craving (didn’t hurt that he was also buying her drinks).  Near the end of the evening my date came up behind me and kissed my neck then whispered into my ear ” do you mind if I go home with her tonight and you can drive my friend home”.  Yes you read that right no need to reread it.  I turned around and told him that he could do anyone or thing he wanted but he had to get his own damn friend home and I then turned back around and said good night to the rest of the people we were with and I left him standing there. 

Now its not that I was going to go home with him and I think he knew that but its been my experience that if you ask someone out for drinks you usually don’t dump them at the bar for someone else.  Apparently I missed the memo of the rules of dating in your 40’s.  When did this behaviour become appropriate and is it just 40 something men who act this way or is it acceptable at any age?  If the first part is true then I am going to start dating 30 year old men!

Kristine
I am brilliant, savvy and powerful and I inspire total confidence!

kristine@IgnitePotentials.com

Igniting my potential

I’d like to first start by saying that I love meeting new people, networking and socializing.  It is a hard thing to do when you work from home, probably my only complaint about working from home.  However,  in this age of computers and online dating its easy to contact people, but are you indeed meeting the real person or what they want you to perceive them to be and is it truth or fiction?  I did the online dating thing and met some really nice men whom have remained my friends.  I’m not sure that’s the way to meet Mr. Right for me but I have heard of people being very successful at it.  Now I must admit when I was doing the online dating thing I don’t think I was doing it from the right frame of mind.  I had the illusion that I would find that perfect person who would want to be with me forever…I mean come on who would pass this up!!  Well the universe had other plans for me to show me that I was not in the right place for anything other than someone looking for a one night stand or the next person to stalk.  I think I was what I call “desperation dating”, what I mean by that is I was in a place where I hated to be alone with myself.  So I would have many many first dates but could not understand why there would be no second date. I mean honestly if I didn’t like to be with me then who else would?  I really didn’t think I was worthy of finding what I really desire in life…UNTIL…I took the Body Thoughts course with Ignite Potentials.  For me, it was a life altering experience that over the last few months has changed the way I see myself, where I want my life to go and the tools to achieve it all.  Now I’m not saying I have all the answers, quite the contrary but at least now I know what I want or rather what I don’t want out of my life and I have the tools to get everything want.   Really strange yet funny things still happen to me all the time but know I can deal with them, honour them and let them go. To quote a very wise woman who is now a big part of my life, “Handle the issues when they happen with integrity  - call them on the game - don’t play the game.”

Kristine
I am brilliant, savvy and powerful and I inspire total confidence!

kristine@IgnitePotentials.com

More about me

Hi everyone and thanks for coming by to have a quick read. Since this is my first entry I thought maybe I should tell you all a bit more about me (how much time do you have?). I will try only to hit the highlights as not to bore you to tears! I was born and raised Saskatchewan, not in any place in particular as my dad was in the RCMP. My sister, brother and I were all adopted by our wonderful parents. We moved 13 times in my 12 years of school which had its very good points and some not so good points. I have met my birth parents who ironically were married I believe 6 years after they gave me up for adoption. I have from them 5 half brothers and sisters and one full younger brother…I have met all but one sibling and from what I understand it was a pretty hard life for them. I know the one brother I have not met has resentment towards me for I think having a move privileged life. I don’t take this to heart, I don’t own his resentment - I was a baby and did not choose where I lived I just merely was very blessed and for that I am truly grateful.

I went to university in Regina, Sk for a year and I decided to follow my parents and brother to Ottawa to continue college.  My parents were transferred back out west about 3 yrs after that so my brother who was still in high school at the time and I moved in to an apartment together.  I met my husband shortly after I move to Ottawa and we dated for 4 years before we got married.

I was married  (well I guess I’m technically still married) for 15 years and we have three pretty good children…I say that jokingly, my kids are fabulous as all kids are but they know my sense of humor would say in rebuttal that I am an “ok mom”.  My son is almost 14  and going off to high school in the fall…that in itself blows my mind!!  My girls are 11 and 9 both going on 20.  I don’t really want to go into the details of why my marriage dissolved but I will say we are two people who want very different things out of the one life we have…but our children mean the world to both of us and we continue co-parent as if we were still together.

I worked in dentisty for many many years until I had a horrifying daycare experience that caused me to re evaluate my goals.  I decided to start my own daycare 7 years ago and its been a wonderful experience.  I get to play at the park, sit in the sun, enjoy children and still get paid for it!!!

Well that’s pretty much me in a nutshell…stick around more to come.

Kristine
I am brilliant, savvy and powerful and I inspire total confidence!

kristine@IgnitePotentials.com

Kristine’s BLOG

Welcome to Kristine’s BLOG

Hello and Welcome to my BLOG. I am a single Mom of three fairly good children and I run a very successful daycare from my home. I am on a continuous journey of self awareness and improvement – the eternal optimist that Mr. Right is just around the corner hiding behind that man the Universe sent me in order to teach me a valuable life lesson.

I am a high energy person who finds life very interesting and funny most of the time. I enjoy running and kickboxing, two very useful things to do in this new world of dating in my 40’s. I love body art but body piercings not so much. I am not a therapist – I merely have very funny and sometimes strange things happen to me. I hope my stories will amuse you or even make you laugh out loud!!

Read and Enjoy and share your thoughts…………see more from Kristine

Kristine
I am brilliant, savvy and powerful and I inspire total confidence.

kristine@IgnitePotentials.com

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